Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
