i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize