so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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