is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The air was thick with penises
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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