forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
