You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
