is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
