your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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