would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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