Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
