it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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