i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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