I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize