please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
