yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have aggressive nipples.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize