I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
