i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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