New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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