This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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