We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
