Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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