you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
