Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
