what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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