The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize