I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
