Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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