When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
