nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
