She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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