You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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