my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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