Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
