Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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