plz talk dirty to me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
