so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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