I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize