if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize