Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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