I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
