i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
