Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
