We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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