Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
