I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
