I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
