He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
True strength comes from lack of pants
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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