For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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