Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
