all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize