yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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