Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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