ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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