Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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