I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize