new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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