Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
