Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
