she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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