Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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