a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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